Taboo?

I decided to write this post for a couple of reasons. 1) I find it healing to write things down and 2) I hope others will find it helpful. I found out I was pregnant and we were so excited to share our news. We told family. However, the whole time I kept telling Eric this feels funny. It felt nothing like it did when I found out I was pregnant with Ruby. One night I had a dream I was having a miscarriage and I woke up to lots of cramping and bleeding. My doctor's office didn't open until 8am. It was only 5am. So I just waited. Deep down I knew what was happening. But of course I scoured the internet in hopes of finding someone with the same symptoms and a happy ending. I came to a blog of a woman who had a similar experience. Although she didn't have a happy ending, she made some really valid points. She explained how we often keep our pregnancies to ourselves or to a few family family members and friends until it is "safe" to share, just in case something goes wrong. But isn't that when we need the most support from others? Well I had my appointment. They did an ultrasound and blood work. The doctor said it was possible I could just be earlier in my pregnancy then I thought. I left feeling a tiny bit better. But as the pain and bleeding continued for the next few days, I just knew it wasn't a viable pregnancy. I did more lab work Friday and had to wait until Monday for the results. Although I already knew the results when the doctor called, it was still emotional. I was pretty up and down all day. But I am thankful for supportive friends and family. I am feeling so much better. And I am trying to find the positives. One being how much I love my Ruby girl and supportive husband. I am very blessed.