Delivery Day!

January 12th, I told my Dad that the next day we were going to have babies and win the lotto! I was just joking of course. But January 13th had a lot of significance in our family both good and bad. It was the day my Grandpa had passed away, the day my Dad had a heart attack, and the day my dad had his life saving kidney transplant. So I thought it would be a good day to have the babies and win the lotto. My doctor came in after a non stress test to review the results. The last few days, the NST's had gotten longer and longer because both Ellie and Nora were having more frequent decels in their heart rates. My contractions were also getting more frequent even with the medication every 4 hours. The doctor said, "How about having those babies today?" I called Eric at work and told him to head to the hospital. They sent me down to labor and delivery to be monitored. The decels were happening a little more. My doctor said he was giving them 15 mins and if things didn't look any better then it was baby time. He said he would wait for Eric to get there before he cut me open.

Eric arrived and the doctor said it was time to go.

I was so nervous for the c-section. For those that don't know, I have pretty high anxiety and I had been worrying about this for weeks. Not only the procedure, but how my babies would be. I watched videos of c-sections on youtube....I know. My doctor laughed at me! I walked over to the delivery room and they got me ready. I looked around the room. It was overwhelming. I couldn't believe this was happening so fast. There were so many people. One team for each baby, and one for me, plus some med students. Lots of conversations going. I was very relieved when Eric was allowed in. He talked with me and kept me occupied. I didn't even realize they had begun. After what seemed like forever, I remember hearing them suctioning ( I knew from the youtube videos that they were sucking out the fluids) and it wouldn't be much longer before I met miss Nora. They said she was almost here and I felt the tugging and here she was. My little girl that I had worked so hard for her safe arrival! She made little noises. I couldn't really call it crying. They brought her near my head and I kissed her. They took her off to the side and began working on her. I couldn't see everything they were doing and I just kept asking Eric if she was okay. He reassured me that she was. They were now working on getting Ellie out. It took a little longer and I was more nervous for her because of all the complications. When she was born, she made less noise then Nora did and I just kept asking if she was okay. I did get to give her a kiss as well before they started working on her. I just remembered feeling so relieved but still knew we had the next challenge of the NICU.

Once the girls were stable, they had Eric go with them to the NICU. I was getting put back together and started to feel some pain. They kept giving me pain med but it was getting worse. I was just about to ask if they could knock me out and then it was over.

Life in HRP

HRP was lonely. Because of the preterm labor, I was only allowed to get up and walk around my room, use the bathroom, and take showers. I had never spent a night away from Ruby before. There were many tears from both of us. The other night I was tucking her into bed here at home and she said, "Mom remember when you were gone and I snuggled your exercise shirt because I missed you?" My heart just hurt when I heard that. If any of you have seen Daniel Tiger on PBS (most likely moms here) every time Ruby would leave my room she would walk down the hallway backwards and sing to me, "Grownups come back!" We also tried to Skype every night at bedtime. We would sing bedtime songs and have prayer. Thank goodness for technology! Eric is an amazing husband and tried to be both mom and dad while I was gone. We had so many people step in to help our family. Friends and family watched Ruby while Eric was at work, set up play dates, brought her to see me, brought meals, and even came to visit me.

It was really hard to let things go while in the hospital. I would often call Eric and ask what they ate for dinner, what time Ruby went to bed, and if things were being taken care of at home (like laundry, grocery shopping, bills being paid etc.). I tried to keep myself busy...as much as you can in the hospital room. I colored, binged watched some shows, walked around my room, talked on the phone a lot, showered, and watched the helicopter land outside my window. HA! SO busy..........

I always looked forward to seeing Eric and Ruby. Although it was very hard to keep a 3 year old entertained at the hospital. We tried playing games, snuggling and watching movies. The nurses loved Ruby and would always gave her popsicles, and would take her for walks to visit the other nurses. Some days both Eric and Ruby just needed a break from the hospital though. It was a 40 min drive or so. And it was just a lot emotionally and physically (especially if Eric had to work). I totally understood, but those days were tough for me.

Before Christmas, I had posted on a community FB site asking for ideas to make Christmas special for Ruby while I was in the hospital. I was not expecting the wonderful things that followed. A lady named Micha messaged me and asked if she could bring our family dinner Christmas Eve. She had spent time on HRP and also had given birth to a preemie. I was so touched. She not only brought dinner, but she brought us preemie clothes for the babies, and slippers for me. Another woman brought us Christmas decor for my room, cookies to decorate for Santa, presents for Ruby, and lots of snacks. These women made me realize that I need to be more aware of other's needs and to be more giving. I will never forget their kindness. It truly was a Christmas our family will never forget!

Preterm labor part 2

After being in triage for 6 hours (let me tell you, those beds suck!) they sent me to labor and delivery. I had received 2 different medications to stop the labor and another round of steroid shots in the butt. They were trying to hold off on the magnesium since it has some really yucky side effects. But that is what it came down to. By then, I had called Eric to come back. That magnesium was rough. It makes you feel like you are on fire from the inside. I also remember looking up and not being able to focus. I felt like I was in a big fog and my body felt so heavy I couldn't really move. I remember telling myself I was dying and no one would be there with me while it happened. Right then a nurse walked in and told me it was time to stop the magnesium and Eric walked in right after. I felt so vulnerable and I was just so thankful they were there. My contractions were still continuing but only about every 15 mins or so. They then sent me to the HRP. High Risk Parinatal Unit for more monitoring.

My doctor's really were pushing to get me home before Christmas. My contractions were behaving on a new medication that I took every 4 to 6 hours. They sent me in for another ultrasound. I could see this one was different. Ellie's dopplers (cord blood flow) looked bad. The tech kept checking in multiple places and she was very quite. I decided to prepare myself for a longer stay, that way I wouldn't be so disappointed when they broke the bad news. My doctor brought in the whole team to break the bad news that Ellie had intermittent absent blood flow and that I would need to stay until delivery.

Every day I had an ultrasound and 2 non stress tests. As long as the blood flow was not reversed, and there were no signs of distress, I got to keep the babies cooking. It was stressful not knowing if I was going to be delivering after any one of those tests.

I have to give a shout out to all the nurses that cared for me on HRP. They moved me to a private room just before Christmas so that Ruby and Eric could stay the night on Christmas Eve. I was so thankful and so excited! Normally children cannot stay the night but they made a special exception.

The Twin's Story Preterm labor Part 1

Blogging? What how do I have time?? I don't. Eric and Ruby are shopping and the babies are asleep and I should be too. Or folding the 3 loads of laundry on the floor, Or throwing away the poopy diapers on the floor (yup...I told myself I would never be that mom that didn't throw them away right after!). Or cleaning up breakfast at 2pm....sigh. I love motherhood. For reals though.

Anyways, I have been wanting to tell the adventure of the twins arrival. We knew to expect complications with this pregnancy because the twins shared one placenta. I just didn't realize all that we would go through to get them here. Following our 2 appointments at John Hopkins, with some of the top notch doctors in the US, things began to get rough. Around 22 weeks or so, I went for my weekly appointment at the hospital and one of the doctors said to me, "Since you are getting closer to viability, we need to discuss what happens if Baby B dies in between appointments." I don't think I heard anything she said after that. I left and called my mom and bawled my eyes out. Thank goodness for moms, they sure know how to make you feel better. At that point my goal was no longer make it to 28 weeks...it became a day by day struggle. Always wondering if little Ellie was still alive. Every kick was a relief. 

The week of Thanksgiving, they told me it was time for steroid shots in case we needed to deliver early. The shots would help prepare their lungs. They also told me to expect to be hospitalized soon and to bring packed bags to every appointment. One doctor told me to enjoy Thanksgiving with my family because she knew I would be away from them soon. 

Fast forward to week 29! We did it! I couldn't believe we had made it that far. We had some friends come stay from out of town. That night we joked before we all went to bed that if we were gone in the morning then it was baby time! That night I woke up to some contractions (I had some close calls before so I wasn't too worried) After about 2 hours, the doctor told me to head to the hospital. It was around 4am. We got Ruby ready too and brought her with us. Eric was concerned but I kept telling him they would just send me home. I thought the contractions had slowed way down anyways. 

They sent me to triage to be monitored. Sure enough, I was having lots of contractions, Abut 2-3 mins apart. I was surprised since I was not feeling all of them. They started with having me just drink lots of water, then IV fluids just hoping I was dehydrated. I was only dilated to a 1. The contractions continued so they started some meds. They started to slow down. I spoke with the nurse and doctor and sent Eric and Ruby home. We all thought I would be heading home after 24 hours of monitoring. They decided to do an ultrasound to check on the babies. I remember laying there in the bed, not feeling great and listening to the other moms around me. They were in labor and so excited to see their sweet babes soon. I was terrified however. My babies were not ready and neither was I. Things looked great in the ultrasound, but my contractions started to pick up and were getting really painful. When I had to start really breathing and working through them, I knew it wasn't good. The doctor checked me again and I was at a 2 and it had only been an hour. He said. "Well you just landed yourself a longer stay with us." 

To be continued........................